Instead of trying to summarize the entire Electronic Entertainment Expo of last week, I thought I'd take a page out of one of my own books and post my "Top 11 Games of E3" list (one snuck on at the last second, so we had to boost it from just 10 games ;) ).  Here we go:

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Number 11:

Assassin's Creed, PS3, XB360

Even though all I saw was a concept vid (the real engine running was kept behind closed doors) this game shows promise.  Developed by the Prince of Persia people and set in medieval Europe (or is it...).  Can't wait!

 

Number 10:

Crackdown, XB360

GTA clone, sure...but we don't yet have a good GTA clone for next-gen systems, do we?  Also, the super powers on display make this look like the Incredible Hulk game from '05.  Would've been higher on the list but framerate issues in the released vid have me worried.

 

Number 9:

Mercenaries 2: World in Flames, PS3

Ok, well, probably the only thing I need to answer here is why the game isn't higher on the list.  Well, no released gameplay video will do that.  So there.  But co-op right out of the box?  Yeah, that'll get you higher than the other sandbox games on here.

 

Number 8:

Spore, PC

The demo video released astounded me just as much as when we saw it unpolished several months ago.  This baby looks gold to me, and hopefully will be out by the end of the year.  Non Sim-ers need not apply, methinks.

 

Number 7:

Crysis, PC

Just download and watch "Official Trailer 1".  Don't worry, I'll wait.

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Ok, well: DID YOU JUST F***ING SEE THAT!!?!?! SWEET JESUS JEBESUS!!!

The only reason this isn't number one or two on the list is because that footage came out a few weeks ago.  I still watched it over again just now, though

 

Number 6:

Dark Messiah of Might and Magic, PC

Looks a lot like Oblivion, which ain't a bad thing.  Few more bells and whistles, and it uses the Source engine.  Oh, and sorry bout the pic.  Just thought it was funny :)

 

Number 5:

Lost Planet: Extreme Condition, XB360

Cool gameplay concept, great looking game.  Reminds me a little of Armed and Dangerous for the original 'box, minus all the fart jokes.  Even though it looks really polished, developers still say '07.

 

Number 4:

Resistance: The Fall of Man, PS3

Well that's certainly an uplifting name for a game, especially from the guys that brought you Ratchet and Clank.  Originally called "I-8", this shooter looks nearly like all those concept videos you have to sit through before they show you the real games on PS3.  The physics looked a little off in the vid I saw and the AI looked "Shoot Me" dumb mostly, but there's still 6 mos. to work all that out.

 

Number 3:

Bioshock, PS3, XB360, PC

Ok, I'll admit it: The hype got to me on this one.  No real vid's released, all closed door stuff...but everyone that saw this game in motion couldn't stop talking about it.  Realistic AI, extreme open-endedness, and an entrancing world all add up to a pretty amazing sounding experience.  If any of you played System Shock 2 (which I didn't) then it may interest you that this game comes from the same people and is a bit of a sequel...somehow.

 

Number 2:

Splinter Cell: Double Agent, PS3, XB360

Supposedly coming out this fall in time for PS3 launch, SC:DA could make a believer out of almost anyone.  Well, except for those people that enjoyed all that wussy sneaking in the last few games.  This one looks to emphasize action over stealth (though I'm sure there'll be some "touch no one" option like in the last games).  The videos released speak for themselves, with Sam looking unbelievable and intense.  If the Tom Clancy people can resurrect the travesty that was the Ghost Recon franchise using next-gen tech, just imagine what they can do to a good franchise!

 

Number 1:

Gears of War, XB360

Yeah, sorry, had to.  This is going to be the true successor to Halo on the 360, at least until the next Halo comes out.  The 'stop and pop' gameplay looks very similar to Ghost Recon, while the action looks like Halo.  As long as they don't confuse us with the controls too badly (I'm looking at you, Mr. Warfighter), they'll have a multimillion seller on their hands, no problem. 

 

Special Awards!

 

The "You bastards, you didn't show us anything" Award:

Halo 3 / Halo: Forerunner / Halo: Whatever, XB360

 

The "Oh great, now I'm winded playing video games" Award:

Wii Sports, Wii

 

The Award for Successfully Ripping Off Everyone:

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Thanks to anyone that actually read all this!

 

-Patrick

 

A special Valentine's post for everyone.

 

 

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I'm absolutely in love with the new, near-gold game footage from Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter for Xbox 360.  I agree, the last game was a pretty serious misstep (not just in the franchise, but in the genre itself), but they seem to have fixed a lot of their mistakes.  The AI looks good, graphics are clear and crisp, and the game world as a whole looks a lot more interesting.  Be sure to read the preview Gamespot put up the other day if any of this looks interesting at all.  Who knows, if I actually get my hands on a version of this game in a store kiosk or even a friend's house, Advanced Warfighter might be gracing the 805 sooner than you think.

 

-Patrick

I apologize in advance for this, the biggest award, being the most brief...but this is probably the only way it's ever going to actually get done.

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Simply visceral...probably the greatest feeling of locomotion I've ever felt in a game, coupled with very satisfying fighting mechanics.  Even though you might seem completely out of control at times (and occasionally you are) the game never feels unwieldy.  It took the "All-Time Best Comic Book Game" crown away from last year's Spiderman 2, in my opinion.

 

Actually making the 3 newest Star Wars movies compelling?  That's a novel idea.  Great co-op, too, with a sense of humor to boot.

 

I still don't really understand how they packed an entire GTA game onto one of those tiny discs...I'm just glad they did.  Oh, and Jeff, I still know where you're headed...

 

I still find it hard to describe the feeling you get after Lumines hooks you...it just becomes every thought in your head.  During Sarah's longer play sessions, I would try to distract her by cavorting about the room, wildly proclaiming that I was "King of the 3rd Quadrant," but even then... nothing.

 

I say again :  The only thing that could possibly make this game better would be more songs.  Everything about the game is spot-on, down to the extra long controller cord, perfect for long-distance "crouch and wiggles."

 

This game is something that just has to be seen to be believed.  That the PS2 manages to crank out the scenery and battles in this game makes it even more jaw-dropping.  Incidentally, this game also got bumped up several notches for sheer visceral mayhem.  There may never be a more "Bad Ass" video game character than Kratos.

 

I certainly hope I'm not giving away too much to Scott with this screencap, but yes, you do fight giant creatures with only ten bullets in this game.  In fact, that seems to be most of the game.  Still one of the scariest gaming experiences ever, even after being out for, now, 14 months.

 

One of the best stories of the year, and certainly one of the best RPG's of all time, this game was hands-down Top 3 material.  Any game that suddenly has taken 60 hours of a week from me deserves these kinds of props.  I just wish the game were a little longer ;)

 

Oh, those Warriors...I still can't believe how much fun Jeff and I had playing through this game.  The best co-op of the year, solid graphics engine and fighting mechanics, interesting story, and more open-ended than any brawler I've ever played...Cheers to Rockstar for getting everything right on this one.

 

To see this game in motion...wow.  Between the spot-on physics engine (which allowed for a little cinematic flair now and then), a dozen weapons that felt perfect when fired, some of the best graphics seen on current gen consoles, and hell, even a halfway interesting story with good voice-acting, this game would have been on this list anyway.  But what makes this game Number 1, what makes it better than anything else that was released in 2005, is the immersion.  When you're playing Mercenaries, you never feel quite safe.  Whether it was the helicopter that wrecked on the road in front of you (even though, on every other playthrough it never happened), the constantly shifting opinions of your enemies/allies, or the fact that there are certain regions of the map that you just don't visit, this game never lets up.  Luckily, instead of being frustrating, it makes the game just that much more fun.  The creativity that being in a warzone allows you is near endless.  Can't figure out a "safe" way to cross that narrow bridge to take out the mortars?  Well you could call in an airstrike on them from half a mile away, or for a more economical choice you could disguise yourself as a civilian and blow them up with a car bomb, or you could steal a tank from the enemy and disguise yourself as one of their own and-

You see how it goes from there.  To call this game "free-form" is truly fitting, and I believe, after much deciding, that Mercenaries is the Greatest Game of 2005.

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See, that wasn't so hard, was it?

 

*dies*

 

-Patrick

Patrick's Note :  I have no idea why the formatting on this entry is so screwed up.  Apparently the Xanga text editor leaves much to be desired when copying and pasting from Microsoft Word.

 

And now for the part of this list that saddens me : The Worst Games of 2005.

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There are so many, many ways to judge a game's badness. Bugs, crashes, poor design choices...the list goes on. The games that I have selected for this dubious honor fall into one or more of these categories. This award, though, should be taken with an even larger grain of salt than the 'Best Of' list. This is because I played even fewer 'bad' games in 2005 than I did 'good' ones (although after finishing some of them, it certainly felt like they had taken up more time). I did my research before renting or certainly purchasing any games, and therefore rarely came upon any true stinkers. However, exposure could not be spared in certain cases. On that note, on with the awards.

The Very Worst Games of 2005

Number 3:

Burnout: Revenge

Poor, poor Criterion Games...they had such ambition. Sadly, this ambition either screeches to a halt, or vaults well beyond enjoyment, depending on your perception, in Burnout: Revenge.

Remember Burnout 3? Remember the fun we had? Well that's all gone, it's safe to say. I mentioned earlier that the new crash mode in Revenge is a sin unto gaming, and I still stand by that accusation. The new meter-thing at the beginning of each crash junction is unnecessary, and a little intimidating for noobs, frankly. Also, even though an interactive replay mode was promised by EA in the game, it wasn't delivered. In fact, no replay mode at all is included in the game, which is quite upsetting. Throw in “tap this button really REALLY fast or else nothing will happen” segments to enable your once sacred crashbreaker, and this mode is nearly unplayable compared with the last one in the series.

Onto racing: what I consider the meat of the Burnout series. It's broke. Simple as that. They broke it. I beg this of you: what fun is traffic racing if the traffic doesn't impede you? Does that ring odd to anyone else? Zipping between two cars stopped at an intersection at 180 miles an hour used to be the crowning pee-in-your-pants moment of these games, and now it could matter less. Feel free to slam into as much traffic as you see fit, consequence free...we don't want the game to be too difficult for you.

And why the hell did you get rid of car classes? That was just dumb.

Number 2:

Pariah

I certainly hope the pointless night-vision shot above brings back the nauseating memories of a certain other pointless night-vision scene in a film that will here go unmentioned *coughRollerballcough*. Sadly, I played Pariah longer than the other two games on this list, but I am rather proud of discarding it the fastest (if that makes any sense). Perhaps an explanation is in order:

After playing through roughly 8 hours of Pariah's single-player campaign, I reached what I found out later to be the final boss. At the time, I had no idea that this was the final boss because I really had no idea what the story was, but that's a different point entirely. Anyways, after battling the boss for nearly 20 minutes and working her health bar down to roughly 25%, she miraculously filled her own life bar back up to full. Instantly. Without explanation. I did not take the time to stare, dumbfounded into the television set. I did not swear, as I am apt to do in such situations. I did not even cast the controller away from my body, out towards the offending game. No sir. Instead I opened the XBOX disc drive, retrieved the DVD-ROM, placed it into its respective Gamefly envelope, and placed it on the mailbox. Out of my sight and life forever.

And now, here's why:

I'm sorry, but I had to put up with a lot in my playtime with Pariah. The worst offender has to be the story itself. Please excuse me if the next few sentences seem less than cohesive, as they are the only semblances of reason that I could pry out of the game. The story starts on a medical transport ship, and you are apparently a doctor. The plane crashes and you wake up with a sub-machine gun in your hand and proceed to shoot your way across a series of hills and forest locations, killing every person you meet along the way...for some reason. Upon breaching a rather secure-looking building in the middle of the forest, another cutscene begins, and apparently the building falling down around you. After you wake up outside of the rubble, the woman that you were transporting stands before you. She then runs away and you are assaulted, etc. etc. etc. blah blah blah.

Again, I'm very sorry that that last part was neither interesting nor sensible, but if I had to sit through it you do too. While the story is certainly the main reason that I loathed Pariah, the list does go on from there rather quickly. Besides the fact that there were only two useful weapons in the game, I also had problems with the thrown in driving sections (during which I would immediately exit the vehicle upon entering, only allowing myself enough time in the motorcycle/tank/car with a gun on top to trigger the next wave of enemies). Throw in a healthy dose of poor level designs and incapable AI, and you have yourself the second worst game of 2005.

Number 1:

Legend of Heroes (PSP)

I apologize in advance for not putting a terribly recognizable game here in the top slot, as most of you probably have never heard of this atrocious RPG for Sony's handheld. However, I will try to illustrate the horrors of this game to you as well as I can.

I suppose first I should establish what I was looking for when I picked up LoH. I was expecting a game with strategic battle sequences, where creativity and forward-thinking would be rewarded. I was expecting exploration and difficult item/equipment choices that could make or break your band of fighters. In short, I was expecting a game that wouldn't feel like I was being led around by the hand; being shown each portion of the game when it was good and ready (Note: these are not unheard of expectations)

First off, the main offender in the game is the battle system. While, yes, it might seem strategic at first, what with your one or two main fighters, your support character, and your magic wielder, very quickly the fights breaks down into a guessing game. With no indication of which characters perform actions in what order, setting up enemies for combos is completely impossible. The worst part of this infraction is the fact that all of the actions in the game are ranged, meaning that if you want to cast a spell on your entire party, you must first assemble them into a tight group before casting. If your caster decides to use the spell before your party is assembled, none of your party members receive the spell, and only your frustration will be enhanced. Also, the fact that your enemies appear to be able to perform several actions per turn, such as moving and casting a spell subsequently, confused and frustrated me even more.

I suppose the lack of exploration in the game needs little explanation. To ease development, the creators built an entirely linear game with no chance of straying from their neat little path. The game map is literally a row of towns that you must visit in sequence to progress throughout the game. Anytime you wish to go someplace other than your next waypoint, your friend “Mile” will pop up on screen to remind you that you shouldn't paint outside of the lines (“Mile”, by the way, is easily the worst name I have seen in a video game this year. An odd note: the game uses the word “Milo” in place of the English measure of 5,280 feet, and “Mile” as the name of your sidekick. Sounds like a typo to me.). Also, the developers apparently realized that the game they had made was far too short so they decided to lengthen it by forcing you to backtrack for as long as an HOUR in some cases, just to extend the putrid story.

It goes without saying, I suppose, that the story was terrible. Characters, motivations, I'm not going to mention much besides the fact that I really wanted the protagonist to get injured and not be able to complete his 'quest'. That's not harsh, is it?

Also, quick one: the game looks like trash. I'm personally a fan of the ¾ view, sprite-based RPG's (especially of the SNES era), but this game looks terrible. The enemies appear to have been painted by a sick penguin, and the heroes have literally the exact same body, with different hair colors. For shame...

Finally, and probably not the most surprising of complaints about the game, is the inventory/weapon system. It's pretty standard fare for an RPG, so I guess I shouldn't criticize the game too much over it. Basically, you go to a new town, they have your next level of sword/shield/armor/etc. And you purchase it and equip it. Every time this gives you an incremental advantage over the last sword/shield/armor you had equipped but still, the materialist in you wants the new one I suppose. I only wish that there was some sort of visual reflection of the different weapons in battle. Every sword looks like the very first one you got at the end of the tutorial: terrible.

I really don't know what the hell happened with this game. It started off so promising: confident developers granting early interviews showcasing different aspects of the game, a solid translation from a top-selling Japanese franchise...it really is too bad that there really wasn't any game behind their clouds of smoke.

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Wh-shew!  Glad that's over.  Very depressing, indeed...

-Patrick

Sorry this isn't the next installment in the GOTY awards, but I felt I needed to tell someone about this.  I just received Beyond Good & Evil for the XBOX in the mail.  It came out in 2003 to almost universal praise as, essentially, the PS2's Zelda.  After playing it for a couple hours last nite, I can certainly agree with that assessment.  Everything from the fun and interesting gameplay mechanics (you'll be using your digital camera in the game for lots of exciting missions) to the lovable characters and dialogue, this game has it all.  Not just that, but it's also one of the prettier adventure games I've seen on the system, and the game's over 2 years old. 

 

Anyway, just thought I'd pass on the info.  The game's no longer in production, so if you find a copy somewhere, definitely pick it up.  It's for all 3 consoles and PC, as I recall.

 

Oh, and I also got Psychonauts for XBOX the same day.  Not as impressed with that one.  Lots of great reviews and "Best Game of '05 No One Played" awards, but I don't really see anything here that sets it apart.  Pretty standard platforming and annoying item collection.  Good sense of humor, though. 

 

-Patrick